Yesterday, multiple news outlets reported that a new Britney Spears sex tape was about to hit the web:

“If Britney Spears didn’t already have her hands full , she certainly does now. A raunchy sex tape starring the pop singer was leaked on the web today.

The raunchy footage is said to show a shaven-headed Britney performing sex acts on two women and a male companion.

During the video, the Toxic star is said to look dazed and consumes alcohol and “what appears to be cocaine and marijuana”.

After-hour calls to attorneys representing Spears and Federline were not immediately returned.”

Unfortunately (or fortunately, considering her recent downward spiral), this seems to be completely untrue. Dlisted reports that the entire thing is nothing but a hoax:

“As hot as this sounds (barf), it’s not true. Somebody took this FoxNews article and replaced the original text with the sex tape rumor text. They sent out the link and some people picked it up. I won’t link the fake article here, because that shit could have viruses on it or something. The link is obviously not from FoxNews. This fake story hit yesterday afternoon, so if there was a Britney sex tape on the internet I’m sure we all would’ve seen it which means we all would be crying in fear under our bed sheets right now.”

So there you have it, folks. No crazy, drug-induced Brit-Brit orgies for the internet. But I mean… it’s gotta happen eventually, right?