From London’s Mirror:

He’s no stranger to performing in front of a camera - but Josh Hartnett’s latest role left his audience truly speechless.

The Pearl Harbor star took a mystery lady back to his hotel and their steamy shenanigans were caught on CCTV.

A whole team of hotel personnel watched dumbstruck as Josh pulled out all the stops in a breathtaking performance.

The lusty couple had sloped off to the Soho hotel’s library - but reading was the last thing on their minds.

Josh, 30, was far more interested in his leading lady than he was the complete works of Emile Zola. Says our mole: “Josh and the girl were getting pretty hot and heavy.

After stumbling in quite late, they legged it to the library and immediately closed all the curtains so that no one could see in.” So far, so considerate.

But our mole went on: “Unfortunately the hotel has security cameras all over the place - the library included.

“This means their every spit and cough was recorded, and cringing hotel workers saw all of Josh’s X-rated moves.

“No one quite knew where to look and there was a very awkward silence.

“Josh didn’t seem bothered that the library wasn’t locked and anyone could just burst in. He just kind of went for it.

“After the event, someone had a quiet word in Josh’s ear and he was asked to take his personal business elsewhere in future.

“Josh took it on the chin and didn’t kick up a fuss. He’s been as good as gold since.”

The actor is by no means the first celebrity to be caught out on camera.

Elizabeth Jagger and Calum Best’s drunken groping was filmed inside a Soho nightclub, while Dannii Minogue’s girl-on-girl romp in a lapdancing club was also recorded by CCTV.

Get a room you lot!

I can’t be alone in hoping that this tape ends up on the internet.